Bedside manner
by Femke S
Summary: Johnlock, Sherlock AU. Doctor John Watson is just settling himself down for the next patient, he glances at the next name on his list, Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock is forced to go for a complete physical examination. He storms into the consulting room and is faced with Dr John H Watson. It's a good job John has good bedside manner…


**Author's notes: **Hello everyone, I know I haven't been writing lately and I haven't even finished all of my works but me and my friend role-played this and thought it would be cool to write it out. My wonderful friend Sophie, Sophlock on here , has role-played this with me and corrected it. So I just want to thank her once again, you should totally go check her out!

Also this fic is going to be 2 chapters long because I intended to make this a oneshot first but then it turned out to be a bit longer, so yeah you'll get it in 2 chapters.

I hope you enjoy it and if you do so, please make sure to comment and/or favourite this story. Make sure to follow it to know when the last chapter is on.

**Sir Conan Doyle created all the wonderful characters, and the BBC gave them their good looks. I just use them for my story.**

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Chapter 1

"I don't need a test." Sherlock said and sat down in a chair with a huff.

"Yes you do, brother dear. And besides, we're already here so you might as well just do it." Mycroft answered and swirled his umbrella around, tired of waiting for the doctor to be ready.

"Why do I even need this test?" The detective glared at his brother.

"Because you've never had one of these before." Mycroft sighed, his little brother could be so bloody stubborn.

"And? That doesn't mean I need one." Sherlock looked down again and crossed his arms over his chest.

"It's always useful to get one." Mycroft shrugged a bit as he looked at Sherlock, he looked like a 5 year old that had been denied his favourite toy.

"Useful is overrated." The detective rolled his eyes again.

"Just go will you. It's this or going back home to sulk on your sofa without a case." Mycroft was starting to get tired of his little brother pestering him when he was bored.

"Fine." Sherlock dramatically stood up and walked into Dr. Watson's office, he looked at the doctor quickly.

The short sandy-haired man smiled at him as he walked in.

"Doctor Watson." Sherlock stated as he sat down on the examination table, he looked at the doctor and began to deduce.

John looked at his folder of his client to check the name, a bit surprised by his bluntness.

"Mr Holmes, I assume?"

"Obviously." Sherlock rolled his eyes at the doctor's apparent incompetence.

"You're here for the complete physical examination then?" John asked with his usual cheery doctor smile.

"Apparently so." The taller man sighed as he looked at John and his annoyingly happy smile.

'Right. This doesn't sound like an easy patient' John thought to himself as he began. "Ok well take off your clothes to your underwear please." John grabbed some papers and a pen to start the examination.

Sherlock raised an eyebrow at the doctor. "Must I really?"

"Yes please." The doctor walked over to the small sink and washed his hands thoroughly.

The dark haired man watched the blonde while taking his shirt off. "Your shirt is untucked a little at the back." He noted as he worked on his buttons.

Now it was John's turn to raise his eyebrow. "Oh… excuse me." He quickly tucked in his shirt and blushed a bit.

"No worries, just letting you know." Sherlock shrugged a bit, not too sure himself as to why he'd said that.

"Well thanks." John nodded a bit and glanced back at Sherlock before looking back down at the sink.

Sherlock tossed his shirt on the floor and started to unbutton his trousers. John looked back at the purple coloured piece of clothing on the floor, moved over, picked it up and neatly laid it on top of his desk chair, all without looking at Sherlock.

Sherlock's eyes never lost the sight of the small doctor. "You can look at me, you know. I would rather see your face."

"I'll wait till you're wearing the hospital gown sir." John politely answered. As a doctor he must give his patients the necessary privacy, of course.

"I really couldn't care less." Sherlock scoffed as he took his trousers off.

"Well I do care, sir." John replied as he still averted his gaze.

Sherlock frowned and placed his shoes beneath him. "Why?"

"It's just my way of doing this." John shrugged.

Sherlock stood up and walked in front of the doctor, only wearing his grey boxers.

"Sir!" John gasped and quickly handed the hospital gown to Sherlock while keeping his eyes from the tall man.

"What if I refuse to put it on?" Sherlock insisted as he just held the gown in his hand.

"Fine, fine! I'm just trying to give you privacy!" John sighed in defeat.

Sherlock nodded, put the gown on anyway, and sat down on the table again.

"Ok we'll start then." John smiled at Sherlock again.

The detective sighed and looked at the doctor again as John took the sphygmomanometer to measure his blood pressure and approached him.

"That looks fun." Sherlock commented dryly as he eyed the equipment.

"It sure is." John gently took the arm of his patient and attached the device to his arm.

"You have a very soft touch." Sherlock commented as he watched with curious eyes.

John sighed and adjusted the pressure as he concentrated.

"Why the sigh? I'm just making conversation, that's what normal people do, isn't it?" Sherlock asked with a frown.

"Yeah it is." He said as he added pressure to the device and watched.

"Oh good." Sherlock nodded a bit and looked at his arm. "How's the pressure?"

"Normal." John said as he did the same with the other arm.

"Oh how dull." Sherlock huffed as he kept watching John work.

John frowned. "Not dull, good." He moved to write the results down, filling in the sheet diligently.

"Good is dull." Sherlock scoffed, as he watched, he'd always thought good was dull, but that didn't make him a bad person either.

"It's not, it's better than if something is wrong." John commented as he filled in the paperwork.

"Are you going to ask me about my sex life?" Sherlock asked plainly with a slight tilt of his head.

John turned around to look at his patient with wide eyes. "No, why?"

Sherlock shrugged. "Doctors always do." He looked back at John and imitated his voice. "How's your sex life? How many people have you slept with? Taken drugs? Medical history? Bla bla bla."

John frowned and looked back at his paper. "Well I'm an exception then." Although, he did have to admit that doctors did ask that a lot.

"Well aren't you exciting." The dark haired man rolled his eyes as his voice dripped with sarcasm.

"I am, aren't I?" John managed a fake proud smile.

"Don't give up the day job to become a comedian." Sherlock narrowed his eyes at John.

"Wouldn't dare to." John said as he rubbed his hands to warm them up a little.

The taller man watched the doctor again as John put his hands on Sherlock's skull.

John massaged his dark curls for a while and nodded as if he were having a conversation with himself in his head, noting how soft and lush his patient's curls were.

"Oh this is lovely." Sherlock commented, the feeling was actually very relaxing.

John raised his eyebrow and stood back to look at his patient from afar, checking his face for symmetry.

"I was dropped on my head as a child." Sherlock said with a serious face, obviously he wasn't, he just wanted to see how John would react.

"Sorry to hear that." The doctor said as he wrote down some information, knowing Sherlock was joking. "Ok now I need you to do some neck exercises with me, move your head to your left shoulder please."

Sherlock moved his head to his shoulder and smirked as he looked up at John again. "Oh you look taller from this angle."

"Now the same to the right, and I'm not that small." John frowned, he hated being called short.

Sherlock tilted his head to the right. "Yes you are." He smirked at the way John furrowed his brow.

"No I'm not." John nodded as he wrote stuff down. "Now put your chin against your chest." He pointed at the man's chest.

The taller man did so. "You are. You're shorter than the average height of a male." He stated.

John sighed, choosing to give up on the argument "Now to your back."

Sherlock tilted his head back. "I'm just saying." He said with a small shrug.

"I'm fine." John nodded again and wrote it down as he grumbled in his head about his height.

Sherlock looked back. "No one, by the way." He commented off-handedly.

John frowned. "No one, what?" He asked as he glanced back at Sherlock.

"I have had sex with no one." Sherlock said as if it was something he was used saying.

John swallowed. "I...I didn't ask for that..." He stuttered a little, he was surprised that this man was still a virgin, John had to admit that he was god damn good looking.

The dark haired man shrugged again. "I'm just saying. Why are you being so uncomfortable about it?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Because it's private for you." John came over to his patient and looked at him.

"And I freely told it to you." Sherlock shrugged, it was no big deal for him.

"Okay..." John said hesitatingly. "Frown for me please." He said as he continued with the test.

Sherlock frowned at him and John smiled. "Now shut your eyes tight and don't let me open them." He realised he was smiling because Sherlock looked rather cute furrowing his brow like a child and squeezing his eyes closed.

"Oh do I get a surprise?" Sherlock said jokingly as he squeezed his eyes closed.

John tried to open them and as he had hoped, he wasn't able to. Good, that's perfect. He wrote it down again.

"You have very soft fingers." Sherlock commented once again as he reopened his eyes.

"Yes, you told me before." John said as he continued to write on the form.

"Why are they so soft?" Sherlock asked with his head slightly tilted to the side.

"No idea." John shrugged, it wasn't as if he used product on them, maybe it was all the hand washing he had to do as a doctor.

Sherlock moved a bit to sit more comfortable. "I would have thought an ex-army doctor's fingers and hands would be rougher, with all the sand and such."

John looked up from his paper with a surprised look on his face. "How did you know I'm an ex-army doctor?"

"It's obvious. The haircut, the somewhat browner skin, the limp and all. I'm not explaining further. Now, Afghanistan or Iraq?" Sherlock asked in his bored deductions voice.

"Iraq…" He answered somewhat baffled. "Clench your jaw for me please." He asked as he carried on with the test.

Sherlock clenched his jaw and John continued to feel for any abnormalities, finding none, he went to write down the findings again.

"What do my notes say, then?" Sherlock asked curiously as he tried to pretend to peer over.

"A lot." John answered simply, not wanting to go into detail.

He raised his eyebrows. "Such as?"

"That you never had sex before." John shrugged a bit, he had genuinely been surprised by that.

"Is that a problem?" The detective asked with a frown, why did everyone obsess over that fact?

"Might be." John answered simply.

"Why?" Sherlock frowned, he didn't see a problem with being a virgin.

"Masturbating can be good for a man." John said while taking a special cotton bud from his box of supplies.

"I'll remember that." The detective smirked as he watched the doctor.

John came over and stood in front of Sherlock. "Now you need to close your eyes and if it feels sharp you say sharp, if it feels soft you say soft. Okay?"

"Fine." He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable poking of his face. The doctor touched his nose with the soft end, and he replied. "Soft." Then he gently touched with the soft end on his eyelid "Soft." Next, he touched his cheekbone with the sharp end "Sharp." John smirked at his little joke. Finally he touched with the soft end on his jawline and Sherlock replied "Soft on my jawline." He opened his eyes again and looked at John. "That was… interesting."

"How so?" John asked with a small frown.

"Just different." He placed his hands on his legs as he looked down a bit.

"Explain further?" John asked as he put his special cotton bud away.

Sherlock frowned. "No one touched me there before, if you must know."

"Strange." John wrote the findings down.

"What did you write?" Sherlock asked with a small frown, as if John were writing incriminating things about him.

"Important stuff." John teased slightly as he wrote the boring notes down.

"Such as?" Sherlock narrowed his eyes at the doctor, not joking along with his teasing.

"Nobody ever touched your eyelids before." John said with a chuckle and shrugged a bit.

"No they didn't." He thought for a moment before challenging back "How many people have touched your eyelids?"

"Uhm… I don't know?" John placed his papers on his desk again and stood back in front of Sherlock.

"Oh, right." Sherlock rolled his eyes, it wasn't even important.

"Okay, now I'm going to look at your ears." The shorter man came closer and touched Sherlock around his ear.

Sherlock flinched and John asked with a small frown "Any tenderness there?"

"No, just no one touched me there either." Sherlock shrugged a bit, who would want to touch those places anyway?

"Oh, right…" John wrote some more things down and took his otoscope.

"What's that for?" Sherlock asked as he watched John come over with it.

"To look in your ears." He said as he did so.

Sherlock looked at the door in front of him. "Anything interesting there?" he asked as he looked straight forward.

"Your brain and stuff." John went to the other side. "And a lot of filth." He teased.

Sherlock raised an eyebrow. "Filth?" How dare he say he was filthy?

"Lots of it." John kept teasing as he glanced at Sherlock's displeased face.

"I'm not filthy." Sherlock insisted as John kept looking in his ears.

"Mhmm." John nodded, not wanting to argue.

"I am clean." He insisted again because John hadn't acknowledged him.

"Mhmm". John repeated again as he just kept looking carefully.

Sherlock glared at him. He was just saying that, Sherlock was clean. Obviously.

"Now I'm going to check your hearing." John said as he covered one of Sherlock's ears with his hand and placed his other a bit further from Sherlock's other ear. Then he clicked his fingers together quietly over and over again. "Can you hear this?"

"Yes." Sherlock frowned. "Of course I can." he said as if it were obvious.

"Okay tell me when you can't hear it anymore." John moved his hand further away little by little.

"Now." Sherlock said as he could no longer hear the clicking. John nodded and did the same with the other side. "Now." Sherlock said again with a sigh. "This is all very dull."

"Could be." John said as he thought about the next step.

Sherlock bent a bit and poked John in his side as he grinned.

John froze and looked at Sherlock. "Did you just poke me?" he accused.

"Yes." Sherlock stated simply as he watched John's reaction.

"Why?" John said a bit louder as he narrowed his eyes a little.

"I'm bored. And you keep poking me everywhere, so I thought I'd return the favour." Sherlock said with a shrug.

"I'm the doctor here, I'm allowed to." John was still frowning at the poke.

Sherlock shrugged. "And I'm a consulting detective." He replied with a spark in his eyes.

"Right…" John nodded slowly, he hadn't heard of such a job.

"I invented the job." He said proudly, like a little kid drawing something for a parent.

"That's lovely, now do you wear any reading glasses?" John moved on with the test, after all, he did have appointments to stick to.

"No." Sherlock sighed again, he'd rather just chat, and he didn't want the stupid test.

"Okay can you read this first line please?" John held the little card in front of his vision and waited for him to recite it.

"One day the frog sat on the lo-" Sherlock stopped to glare at the ex-army doctor. "I'm not reading this."

"Just read it, it's of great importance." John smirked at the look of disgust on Sherlock's face.

Sherlock sighed and made up the line himself. "The frog fell off the log and died a painful death in the lake." He said, dead-pan.

John rolled his eyes. "Good boy." He teased, looking straight at Sherlock.

"Did you just call me a boy?" The detective asked with raised eyebrows and a look as if he'd been greatly insulted.

"Please tell me you aren't a girl." John looked him straight in eyes, his face set serious as he tried not to smirk.

"Of course I'm not a girl." Sherlock scoffed, gosh the mere thought of it.

"Phew." John wrote some other stuff down as he allowed himself to smirk to himself.

"But calling me a 'good boy' is rather condescending, is it not?" Sherlock asked with a raised eyebrow as he watched John writing things down once more.

"Well I'm the doctor here." John shrugged and turned back to face Sherlock.

"And I'm the consulting detective, I've apprehended several criminals." Sherlock challenged back with a proud smile, he was acting like a child trying to prove that his toy was better.

"Okay." John said simply, not wanting to cause an argument.

"So don't call me a 'good boy'." Sherlock said, as if he'd won the dispute and proved that his toy was better.

"You called me little." John shrugged as he smirked a little at Sherlock's attitude.

"Because you are, it's a fact." Sherlock screwed up his nose a little as he spoke.

"And you're a boy." He said while he stood back a bit. "Now hold your head still and follow my finger with your eyes."

"Doesn't mean I'm good." Sherlock said while watching John's finger with his mesmerising eyes.

"A very jolly boy." John chuckled as he teased again.

Sherlock raised his eyebrows once again. "I'm a man, actually."

"But basically a boy too." John nodded a bit, perhaps being slightly patronising.

"Man." Sherlock stated with a glare.

"Right." John supressed a chuckled at the glare all over Sherlock's face.

"If you go by your logic, then you're a boy too." Sherlock teased back, so much like a child that it was unbelievable.

"I know. Now look straight at me and I'll be wiggling my fingers at the sides of your head, slowly moving my hands into your vision and I want you to raise your hand when you see it." John spoke professionally.

"Okay…" Sherlock nodded a bit and looked straight at John.

John wiggled his fingers into his vision and Sherlock raised his hand as he spoke "How's your girlfriend?"

"My what?" John asked, surprised as he dropped his hands.

"Girlfriend." Sherlock stated simply as he just looked at John.

"Why do you think I have one?" John frowned as he asked, as a matter of fact, he'd broken up with the last one a few weeks ago.

Sherlock shrugged and said nothing else, hoping his silence would speak for itself.

"I don't have one." John stated simply with a shrug, not really sure why he was discussing his dating life with his patient.

"Really?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and a surprised look.

"Yes." John replied simply again.

"Boyfriend?" He asked with a shrug and small smile.

"No…" The doctor frowned but registered the small smile on Sherlock's face.

"Oh." Sherlock replied as John looked at the white floor. "Well, I wasn't expecting that to be honest." Sherlock commented.

"What?" John looked back at him with a look of intrigue.

"That you would be single." Sherlock shrugged a bit "You don't seem like the kind of guy to be single."

"Oh, well I am." John frowned a bit at Sherlock judging him.

"Interesting." Sherlock smiled a bit as he replied and thought about that fact.

John's frown deepened "Now look right at my nose." Sherlock did so as John grabbed his little light and shone it in his eyes. "Thanks for the warning." Sherlock muttered as his eyes stung from the brightness of the light.

"No problem." John said dryly without meaning it as he continued.

"Tell me about my eyes." Sherlock said simply as he studied John's face that was rather closer to his.

"Why? So far they're fine." John kept looking, he noted how the eye behaved correctly, and the wonderful colour of the irises.

"I'm interested." Sherlock said as he continued to look at John's face. His eyes came to rest upon John's lips and he studied them, a small smile creeping on his face.

"Uhm, they are blue-grey-green." John looked a bit more into those astonishing eyes.

"Oh, how precise." Sherlock rolled his eyes.

John smiled. "Okay now I want you to look at my finger and watch as it comes towards you."

"Right..." Sherlock said as he looked at the doctor's finger.

"It'll make you cross eyed." John slowly placed his finger right in front of Sherlock's eyes.

"Oh great." Sherlock spoke dryly again, he was getting rather bored of following orders.

"Now look at the door." Sherlock did so. "Now back at my finger." Sherlock did so again "Good."

"This is rather dull." Sherlock said with a pouting face, again, very much like a child.

"Poor you, now I'm just going to check your tear glands." John started to massage those and around his eyebrows.

"I don't cry." Sherlock stated simply with a straight face, even though he knew, deep down, that that wasn't true.

"Everybody cries." John rolled his eyes at Sherlock's comment, of course everybody cried at some point.

"I don't." Sherlock insisted again, pushing back all memories of himself crying.

"Okay then…" John went to write some things down while Sherlock watched him. "Now I need to switch the light off."

"Oh darkness, how exciting." Sherlock said with a smirk.

John looked at his patient and switched the light off. "Now I need to get a bit closer in your face if you don't mind and shine a light in your eyes again."

"Sure." Sherlock could see his chance coming.

John bent forward, his lips almost touching Sherlock's, and shone the light back in his eyes as he looked around again.

"Your lips are rather close to mine." Sherlock was speaking softer, and deeper.

"Sorry." John swallowed a bit at the change in Sherlock's voice, it was rather alluring.

"No problem." The dark haired man purred, his voice turning velvety.

John went to the other side and did the same with his other eye.

The consulting detective leaned forward a tiny bit and brushed his lips against John's, instinctively John backed away and looked at Sherlock. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Sherlock looked at him innocently, his voice not as velvety anymore.

"Did you just lean forward to touch my lips?" His soft lips, John had noticed. Why had he noticed?

"No." Sherlock said with a raised eyebrow.

"Right ok…" John went to switch the light back on, still thinking about the moment from a few seconds ago.


End file.
